What Would HR Be Like In An Organized Crime Family?

by Matthew Stollak on Thursday, February 1, 2018

Today, during a during a class discussion of HR as a profession, a student queried, "what would it be like to do HR as a member of an organized crime family? Could you do a lecture on that?"  Now, as far as I know, no one I am familiar with currently has that role.  When that person lists his or her industry when they register for the SHRM Annual Conference, they don't list "Racketeering."

So, what might encompass the role?

Staffing - It is unlikely that an organized crime family is going to put a listing on Indeed.com for "Hired Gun" or "Getaway Driver."  Word of mouth and referral will likely be the chosen route.  And, you'll likely make them an offer they can't refuse.

Training and Development - Onboarding might be difficult without a written employee handbook, and on-the-job training will be paramount. 

Performance Management - there is likely a lot of on-the-spot feedback.  You'd be ahead of the game in eliminating annual performance reviews.

Compensation - Likely a cash-only business with contracts negotiated with a handshake or an exchange of blood.  Perks can be magnificent as you rise in the organization. 

Retention and Turnover - For the most part, people rarely leave the organization.  Termination tends to be literal.

How else would HR be impacted by being part of an organized crime family?


Benefits: Family trumps just about everything so don't worry, you won't miss any t-ball games. However, you'll likely be putting those health benefits to use considering the stressful nature of the job.

Thanks for the laugh!

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