The Worst HR Job in America Might Be At Teller Motors

by Matthew Stollak on Thursday, December 12, 2013

(Spoiler alert - if you haven't watched the season finale of Sons of Anarchy, you may not want to read on).

The worst HR job in America might be the HR Director at Teller Motors.  Here's why:

*The job is located in Charming, CA, a town with a death rate that rivals Cabot Cove, ME

*It's family-owned, with a highly unstable family.  The current owner, Jax Teller,  shot and killed the former owner, his stepdad, Clay Morrow.   And the owner's mom, Gemma, just killed the owner's wife, Tara, with a carving fork.

*The owner is involved with many illegal activities, including guns, drug-running, and prostitution.

*Recruiting employees is tougher than a union closed shop in 1939.

*Employees are more likely to get killed by a member of the IRA than receive a company-sponsored IRA.

*Health care premiums are likely to skyrocket in the next year.  Given than Tara was a physician and provided care to the company employees gratis as well as stole supplies from the hospital in which she worked, the employees are likely in the market for a new doctor.

*Teller Motors has a very stringent orientation procedure.

*Most common reason for turnover?  Death.

*Most useless taxes paid?  FUTA and FICA. Most employees are unlikely to be fired and few are around long enough to collect Social Security.

*Forget about the AFT...the latest concern may be OSHA, who may put Teller Motors on their watch list for imminent danger after the company clubhouse was firebombed.

At least the company parties are off the hook.